Mr Lam Shiu Tong, Mr Aleksandar Đurić and Mr C. Kunalan.
PHOTO: LAM SHIU TONG, ALEKSANDAR DURIC AND C. KUNALAN
A mild-mannered and kindly gent, Mr Lam Shiu Tong’s laundry list of iron man accolades might surprise you. The Managing Director, Facilities Management from C&W Services, partner of Singapore Sports Hub, Public Private Partnership (PPP) is an accomplished triathlete who has competed in gruelling endurance races around the world.
Born in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Mr Aleksandar Đurić became a Singapore citizen in the 2000s and also became a household name. He has won the Singapore Cup, S.League, Charity Shield and AFF Championship, and been named Player of the Year and Top Scorer of the S.League many times. Recently retired, the 50-year-old is a single dad who adopted his youngest son from a children’s home where he volunteered. Today, he applies his sporting knowledge to mentoring and nurturing young children at the ActiveSG Football Academy.
Mr C. Kunalan is an integral part of our local sporting history. The prolific runner is the winner of 15 SEA Games and five Asian Games medals, and has set many Singapore National Records. The 79-year-old currently works on the topic of exercise physiology with sports coaches, gives talks at various institutions and connects former national athletes with the Sports Alumni wing of the Singapore Sports Council.
In conjunction with Father’s Day, Here To Play chatted with these three devoted dads, who apply their sporting mentality to being good dads.
Mr Lam Shiu Tong
Mr Lam Shiu Tong and his family.
PHOTO: LAM SHIU TONG
Here To Play: How many children do you have?
Lam Shiu Tong: I have two daughters; Nicia and Yullis. Both of them are in their 20s.
Has your athletic background influenced your style of parenting?
As a parent, I think that it is important to allow our children to be exposed to physical and mental challenges, right from an early age, to toughen them up. Hence, when my children were toddlers, I began to expose them to sports and games like soccer, tennis and cycling, with the aim of toughening their characters, through learning to pick themselves up when they fell down, battling with older and bigger opponents, taking defeats and managing disappointments.
What are your favourite sporting memories?
In school, I went against all odds to win the inter-class rugby tournament with my classmates at Chinese High School, that would count as one fond memory. Completing a four-stage mountain bike race in Australia with my army buddies is another. Completing a full ironman triathlon event in 2001 is one of my favourite sporting highs. Many friends doubted if I could complete the triathlon. Fortunately, I was able to finish what I started.
What were your highest highs and lowest lows in sport?
My highest sporting high was finishing second runner up, together with my wife, Stella, in a city running race back in 2013. Participants had to navigate and locate checkpoints around the island, which required us to cover 40 to 50km in distance. We achieved a podium finish, ahead of several teams that were younger and stronger than us, which was a really pleasant surprise and an experience that we cherish. I haven’t experienced many lows, but there was one adventure race where my racing buddy and I did not manage to finish. In reflection, we did not devote adequate preparation and training. We did not finish (DNF) because we could not complete one of the stations, due to its difficulty. There haven’t been many DNFs in my life. Till today, I don’t like the fact that there was this one.
What sports do you indulge in nowadays?
Nowadays, my main sport is playing tennis on weekends. Occasionally, I will go for a bike ride.
What are your fondest memories of being a dad?
Frankly, I am still learning to be a dad. Dads play different roles as our children grow and I’ve learned that we have to adapt along the way. When my girls were younger, being ‘Dad’, I was kind of their playmate; someone initiating playtime, setting rules of games, and creating competitive and fun moments. I was very conscious that both of them were facing pressure to produce good academic results. Thus, I was mindful that I could generate activities that would relieve their stress. At later ages, I listened to their stories of their games and competitions and tried to remind them to stay humble whenever they beat an opponent, and motivated them whenever they lost a match. I have many fond memories of us playing, skateboarding and cycling together.
Nowadays, as Dad, I am present to offer another perspective, if my girls still want to listen to my views. At their age, they have strong personal views on issues, whether they are about the environment, cruelty to animals or freedom of expression. Parents’ views are not always aligned with our children’s and I have no intention of forcing my daughters to accept my views, even though I mean well.
What principles do you practise or what do you keep in mind, in order to be a good dad?
I try to be there to facilitate and provide the support needed for whatever my girls want to do. At the same time, I don’t pressure them to deliver results. Being successful in sports or in anything else is not about the medals that they win, but more about the effort that they put in trying to win that medal.
Do you have any advice for young dads on how to be great dads?
For the younger dads out there, let your kids pursue their own dreams, instead of yours.
Mr Aleksandar Đurić
Mr Aleksandar Đurić and his family.
PHOTO: ALEKSANDAR DURIC
Here to Play: How many children do you have?
Aleksandar Đurić: I have four children. One girl and three boys: Isabella is 19, Alessandro is 17, Massimo is 11, and Emanuelle is 2.
Has your athletic background influenced your style of parenting?
I don’t have a particular style of parenting, but my athletic background has provided my children with a daily example of how hard work and consistency can pay off. Sport has strongly shaped my life. I hope to pass this on to my children, as their role model.
What are your favourite sporting memories?
Playing for the first time for the Singapore National Team in 2007 was my highest high. It is the dream of every football player to play for his country. The old National Stadium was filled with fans cheering — the atmosphere was amazing. Not to mention, I scored two goals in my debut.
To be honest, I have many fond sporting memories. Winning the Suzuki Cup with the Singapore National Team in 2012 is a highlight that I will always be proud of. This was my last tournament playing for the National Team.
As a sportsman, there are many lows. You lose games, tournaments and finals, but what is important is that from every loss you learn how to bounce back. The lows never outweigh the highs.
What is your involvement in sport nowadays?
Currently I work for Sport Singapore, as Principal of the ActiveSG Football Academy. My job consists of encouraging children in Singapore to play football. I run 12 football centres. We create affordable children’s football programmes for multiple age groups, which help develop skills and instill life values through sport.
What are your fondest memories of being a dad?
My fondest memories are of seeing my children learn new things, and experience things for the first time. I love watching my children develop through encouragement. I am learning to be a good father as my children grow alongside me.
What principles do you practise or what do you keep in mind, in order to be a good dad?
Love, consistency and patience. Encouragement, with a good sense of humor, always helps.
Do you have any advice for young dads on how to be great dads?
The best advice I can give is, be present as much as possible. There is no right or wrong way to be a great dad, but being there for your children is the most important. It is hard, but it is so rewarding to see your kids grow.
Mr C. Kunalan
Mr C. Kunalan and his family. PHOTO: C. KUNALAN
Here to Play: How many children do you have?
C. Kunalan: I have three daughters.
What are your favourite sporting memories?
My favourite sporting memories would be the occasions when I qualified for a particular major game. I won a silver medal at the 1966 Asian Games — I lost the Gold by 0.01 sec; this was only three years after I joined the athletics scene. Another high was competing as a member of the 1974 Asian Games 4 x 100m and 4 x 400m relays, in which we created National Records. Our 4 x 100m record stood for 20 years and the 4 x 400m record is still the National Record.
What is your involvement in sport nowadays?
I now work on the topic of exercise physiology with sports coaches. I give talks to small specific groups at school assemblies and lead occasional tours at the Singapore Sports Museum and our labs at the Singapore Sports Institute.
What are your fondest memories of being a dad?
Seeing our daughters happy in what they are involved in, all the way since babyhood to adulthood. I enjoy seeing them making and keeping special friends.
What principles do you practise or what do you keep in mind, in order to be a good dad?
Always use reasoning in any situation.
Do you have any advice for young dads on how to be great dads?
Allocate sufficient time for your kids but don’t be overbearing. This will endear you to them all through their crucial growing up years — there will be moments when they might drift away from you. Nonetheless, be supportive and reasonable.
